Ok, so all you well meaning people celebrating Christmas, I'm tired of hearing about all the decorations, how difficult it was getting them up....baking cookies and candies....all the excitement. I have none of it and you have no idea how old it gets to sit here and smile and go along with everything acting like everything is ok when your entire world has fallen apart. When there is no one to care about you and make you number one, their priority....ever. When there is no physical touch of kindness and concern. When your tears scare people away and there is no one to hold you.
I want what you have, at least a part of it. A reason to be, to live, to celebrate. This season just slams home the lack of anything. What is it all for? There's no one to share it with, no one who cares.
Stop wishing me merry christmas. I'm not even sure I believe in christ so I'm not celebrating.
....and over a week later, i still feel the same way. sorry.....
.....and don't you DARE come back with "I care about you." Yes, you do. But there's not one person out there that cares enough to put me first, make me a priority. Ever. For anything.
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