Please leave me out

Everyone seems to love it and forget others don't celebrate or absolutely cringe when it comes around.  I'm the latter.  HATE christmas.  Yes all cap letters.  Sucks eggs cause only reinforces that I'm alone and have no purpose.  Logging.  May be back after it's gone......

Wild Abandon....

The words Wild Abandon ran through my head the other day,  not sure why, but I grabbed my iPhone and recorded them in my little notepad.  They struck a chord deep inside.

The definitions that speak to me are wild: not subject to restraint, indicative of strong passion.  Abandon: complete lack of inhibition or restraint.  To live with wild abandon, to live passionately, letting nothing inhibit you or restrain you.  Restrain your feelings, emotions, ability to feel and react.  To do things with passion and without self consciousness or inhibition.

These words are so strong to me, mean so much.  I want this in my life.  I've lived with so much restraint.  Done so much because it is "what you do" or what is expected of me.  NO MORE.  When I got divorced my mind cleared and I decided NO REGRETS was how I was going to live.  I believe that "living with wild abandon" is more precisely how I want to live.

Now.....to find someone to share that with if possible.....

Getting out and about.....

Last Sunday I went to Cirque du Soleil....which I've been going to for what....23 years now?  Waaaay back when, the big wigs stayed at the hotel I worked in when they came to San Jose and I coordinated their stay, so they handed me tickets to Cirque.....my mind thought....weird French-Canadian circus with no animals.  PASS!  Well thankfully I decided to take a friend and check it out.  Sunday I saw the 20th anniversary show of Saltimbanco and I saw it the first time around....yes, 20 years ago.  Scary huh?

Tonight I saw Trans Siberian Orchestra, my second time seeing them.  It was their debut of THE LOST CHRISTMAS.  The show was amazing.  Most incredible light show I've ever seen, check this out below.

 

The music phenomenal and they played my favorite, Wizards of Winter.  We had the best seats, very near us were the platforms that raise into the air with musicians on them, shoot fire....and probably other things I forgot!  Second time two musicians went up on the platforms they stood right in front of us about four feet, looking us in the eye.  Was incredible.  I will never miss their shows!

 

We are incredbily lucky to have Cedar Park Center so close.  My dream is that they put together series tickets....giving you seats at a number of different events.  Just looking for them to continue pulling in new shows.  Close, easy parking, what more can you ask for if the shows arrive?

Recording the changes......

This picture appeared in The Independent, the local LH newspaper recently.....shows (a bit) my weight loss but of course I'm wearing a HUGE sweatshirt.  I browsed through past pictures and just made myself sick seeing what I looked like before.....overweight, matronly.  Holy crap.  That was so not me, no wonder I never felt like myself.

I've grabbed the reins back and no more being everything else for everyone.  Me first.  I need to work out, walk, run, eat right.  I'm doing it.  Feeling much better about myself.  Going to look for better pics to post the change......I should post the before pictures but need to get the guts up.  Oh heck....will keep me where I am right?

Carpe diem!