Tatata

Keep It Simple Stupid.  I've always subscribed to that.  About 20 years ago I started consciously reading about simplicity and sustainability.  I've always had this urge in me, keep things simple, back to the basics, it's not rocket science....life just doesn't have to be crazy wild and complicated.  Talk.  Be honest.  Communicate.  Listen.  Forgive.  Love.  Simple to me. 

But....I've lived the complicated life regardless, trying annually to renew my resolutions aiming toward simplicity and genuineness.  I think I'm getting there.  I feel like I've found the pivotal point. 

Well.....first, I did find someone that shares a lot of these ideas and thoughts and beliefs withe me and encourages the positive thinking and has made me think of things in a new way....be more open.  Big help and doesn't hurt that I'm falling for him either.  Hard.  Makes me listen even more.

Things I am discovering mean a lot to me are along the line of zen, Buddah, Eastern wisdom and medicine.  Natural healing.  Simplicity.  Sustainability.  Natural materials.  Food that "knows where it comes from."  I feel like I've found a gold mine to research.  Some of my favorite things or things I desire lately are:
...Kombucha, particularly Buddha's Brew Pineapple SuperGreens
...Daily time in the sun to think/meditate - this was a gift from the man mentioned above...his practice that really hit my core.
...Eckhardt Tolle's A NEW EARTH.  Also have THE POWER OF NOW that I'm aching to read.  About being in the NOW.  Letting go of the ego. 
...PEACE IS EVERY STEP by Thich Nhat Hanh - another phenomenal book.
...zenhabits.org.    Outstanding blog, I can't even do it justice praising it.  It captures just what I'm after and want in life.  Peace.  Simplicity.  Happiness.
...desires: to meditate, learn yoga, create a life/home of happiness.  Last night Stacy and I were talking and I mentioned that I've wanted to create a life with someone, build something together.  He put it simply, almost painfully simply and I ache for it too.  He said he wants to be part of a HAPPY TEAM.  To be on that path, on that team with him....my desire.

These are just a few of the things that describe the things that bring me peace, happiness.  I am learning to live in the NOW.  NOW.  Not the past, you can't change it.  Not the future, for if you daydream of the future, you are missing living NOW.  And you can only live now.  I'm getting it, Eckhardt Tolle is driving that home.

I want to do more research on meditation, Buddha, homeopathy, Chinese medicine.  I want to read the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.  Lots of learning left in life.  Lots of happiness, lots of peace.

Buddha called it tatata - the suchness of life, being one with reality.  THAT is what I desire.  Working on it.

Time for yourself....

"Someone" introduced me to the concept of sitting in the sun for 30 minutes and basically meditating.  Can't say I've got my head wrapped around meditation but I like the idea.  And honestly I shouldn't say sun, just outdoors, even if a cloudy day....fresh air, exposed, free to let the mind wander or be still.

Today I sat outside....had been working hard so had on capri length yoga pants and a workout fitted tank.  Was a bit chilly so brought a quilt with me and sat in the sun....what a pick me up!  So great to have been working hard and take a break so basic, so simple.  Too bad we forget these things.  I want to live with purpose, not forget the simple things in life and to appreciate them.  Slow down.  That is counter to what society has ingrained into us lately.  The buzz word seems to be multitasking yet think about it. That is a tech definition but c'mon!  Execute on several distributed processors....well first off we have ONE brain, one person.

SIMULTANEOUSLY!  So, chat on the phone with your bff....unload the dishwasher and make a grocery list.  Is your bff getting the best of you?  Are you really listening?  Do you hear the tears or hesitation in her voice?  Slow down.  When was the last time you really lost yourself in a conversation.  A REAL conversation.  Deep.  Significant.  Put yourself there, drop the multitasking and be IN the moment.  Those are the things that count.  So what if you die and the dishwasher wasn't loaded?  Get that conversation in.  Make those memories.  Do what matters, really matters and do it with meaning and your entire being engaged.  Don't short change the people in your life.

So....yes. I sat in the sun.  Didn't even read today.  Often I do, but today, I enjoyed the slight breeze that made it a bit too cool to be without my quilt, and the warmth of the sun hitting my arms and legs.  The sounds of outside and the neighborhood, the sound of my daughter inside. My sweet Cowboy who had to wander up next to me on the little perch of a patio and stand on the edge just so he could be right next to me.  His soft fur and the way he pushed his nose into my face to plant a sloppy wet one on me.  If I was involved in other things at the same time, I'd have missed all the joy in that 30 minutes.  Simple....meditation, one step at a time.  Once a day to start.  Appreciating.

Sending a huge thank you to my special someone that brought that into my life.  One thing he said after the first time we sat in the sun together?  "I like that we don't have to talk and it's ok to be quiet."  Warmth spread in my heart.  It is, thank you for giving me that.

Two favorite books....and a blog

Over the years I've been pursuing the simple life, sustainability, living frugally...one concept?  No it's a mix, honestly.  I pick and choose what I like and what hits me from many different sources, putting into play my favorites.

About 15 years ago I ran across Tracey McBride's books, the first being Frugal Luxuries.  People often equate frugal with cheap, however I see it completely different.  To live frugally means that I am saving money in ways that I deem acceptable so that I have funds to spend on things that I enjoy.  It does NOT mean that I will buy the cheapest things out there and will sit at home with the lights off to save money.  It's simply a matter of choosing priorities as to where your money goes that gives you the most enjoyment and satisfaction.

I love the challenge of bargain hunting.  I think it was Walmart (of all places...not a favorite of mine) that had a commercial a few years back around Christmas where the woman in it was a "bargain looker-outer" and she did the hovering circular motion with her hands.  I really connected with that....I am an incredible bargain looker-outer.  I love the thrill of finding the best deal for things, of wandering through the local consignment store and finding that amazing Chicos Jean Jacket embellished with all kinds of jewels for $10 that looks brand new (true recent story).  These kind of things leave me the funds to spend on travel or my home or a tree I've wanted in my yard, or an incredible dinner out at Tokyo Steakhouse with my kids.  Things others might consider frivolous, but that I get great enjoyment out of.

And then there are frugal luxuries.  Roses cut from my backyard in an old pickle jar on my side-table.  A ten-cent garage sale find of an old handkerchief with little pansies all over it that I keep in my purse.  These things cost basically nothing, but are little luxuries that I completely cherish and put a smile on my face.  Let Tracey teach you about Frugal Luxuries on her website or through one of her books.  Not sure I'll loan one of mine out, they are too valuable to me, but I'll help you find one.

Simple Living

It means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.

Here I am again.....please go read zenhabits.net and explore the site.  This post is screaming at me right now....

Simple Living Manifesto: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your Life    By Leo Babauta

Things that make me happy...

Simplicity.  Nature, plants, gardening.  Being in the moment.  Someone special to share with who understands these things about me.  Ultimately yes that someone special I would love to be a man.  BUT....also need friends, family, my babies.  Hope people will join me in this journey and be open and authentic.  Non-judgemental.  Make new friendships and plain old enjoy life in it's simplicity and abundance.  Realizing that everything in your life is affected by your choice and YES YOU HAVE A CHOICE.  I am choosing the road to happiness and creating memories, join me?  I want to expand this blog, create a resource list, inspiration, whatever it may be.

Yes it's going to hurt.  We keep pieces of ourselves locked away but I'm going for authentic, excellent conversations here.  Not what people expect, no parroting, just heartfelt, caring convos.  This will help me identify the "real" people that I want to be a part of my life.  With this transparency and honesty, age is no issue.  Join me. Learn to care and love with me.  Learn to choose what is best for you.

Disclaimer....I'm no expert on anything.  I stumble lots, my balance is off kilter.  Say a word,I'll sing you a song containing that word.  On key?  Not a clue.  Just with pure joy.  If you are not afraid to be you, come help.  Not afraid to ask for that.  Life is our adventure and is what we make it. 

Wild Abandon....

The words Wild Abandon ran through my head the other day,  not sure why, but I grabbed my iPhone and recorded them in my little notepad.  They struck a chord deep inside.

The definitions that speak to me are wild: not subject to restraint, indicative of strong passion.  Abandon: complete lack of inhibition or restraint.  To live with wild abandon, to live passionately, letting nothing inhibit you or restrain you.  Restrain your feelings, emotions, ability to feel and react.  To do things with passion and without self consciousness or inhibition.

These words are so strong to me, mean so much.  I want this in my life.  I've lived with so much restraint.  Done so much because it is "what you do" or what is expected of me.  NO MORE.  When I got divorced my mind cleared and I decided NO REGRETS was how I was going to live.  I believe that "living with wild abandon" is more precisely how I want to live.

Now.....to find someone to share that with if possible.....

Thankful for.....TODAY

On Facebook I have noticed a trend of people counting down toward Thanksgiving and listing why they are thankful.  What a great idea, I often don't do that enough.  So....even though it is November 5th and I tend to have a problem with blogging in any sort of regular manner, I decided to attempt a thankfulness log.

I am thankful for today.  TODAY, not tomorrow and all that it holds including the fact that the day will be incredibly long.  Not yesterday.  TODAY.  Learning to appreciate living in the moment, in the now.  Not anticipating what is to come and missing the now.  Not lamenting over the past and missing the now.  NOW.  This moment.  Today.  

.....note to self, it's not enough to proclaim this, you must actually practice it.......

ooohhhmmmm......

I need to take up meditation or something and gain some zen moments in my life.  Peace, simplicity, basics.  I get so overwhelmed running around, trying to be everything to everybody and still falling way short and being on the receiving end of undeserved blame, anger, ugliness.  The nasty words constantly take a toll and I just can't take it.  THUS....I hide in my room.  Read, play online games, talk to friends on voice chat.  BLOG.

Stephen Hopson says "do what makes YOU happy FIRST and then if people want to adjust, accept or reject you, that’s their business.   Our job is to take care of ourselves.   Yes, you have to balance it out and compromise along the way, of course.  But if you consistently go out of your way to make others happy,  allowing your wants and desires to fall by the wayside, guess what will happen?

You’ll experience a range of emotions from depression, sadness, anger, resentment or bitterness.  And the funny thing is you’re the one that put yourself in that position!   It has nothing to do with the other person.  All the other person did was to say what he/she wants and you went along with it."

OMG do I relate.  Click on the link in his name and read more.  I need to dig my heels in and live by this.  I've let the opinion and hurt of others sway me in this many times and no more.  I can not be what I need to be if I don't take care of me.  I'll have nothing to give.  Help me stick to this.