Showing posts with label zen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zen. Show all posts

Monday, December 16, 2013

....running through my head.....


2013 just went way too fast and I've personally been very aware of the new year looming. 

The changes my life went through in 2013 had their roots in okcupid.com.  I had signed up for an online dating site hoping to meet someone but seriously doubting I ever would.  At the very end of 2012 I started chatting with Stacy Underwood....we had our first date on December 29 at the San Marcos Chili's and that started a ball rolling that hasn't stopped to this day.  Honestly, I don't plan on it ever stopping, I foresee a beautiful future ahead.

2013 brought an end to many eras in my life.  My tenure at the Liberty Hill Public Library was coming to an end, little did I know.  Hard thing to do/deal with but to gain the man I love, very worth it.  It honestly was time for me to move on, for both me and the library, we both had more growing to do.

The one and only house I'd purchased all by myself was sold in record time.  30 days from date of listing to date of handing over the keys.  

I moved.  Within Texas, but leaving my oldest daughter behind.  I want my children to never be restrained feeling they need to be near me.  I want them to fly their highest and reach their ultimate potential, following their dreams.  I've watched Becca become a beautiful young lady that I'm very proud of this past year and I know I have treasured the one trip she has already taken down to visit me (surprise arranged between she and Stacy) and am looking forward to another hopefully before the year is out.

I'm learning happy, content, peace.  I have a mate that is very honest with me that can talk frankly, watch me cry, and listen as my mind changes.  Still hard to admit how much I screw up but I can do it and realize I do it and that I am wrong.  He is the first man I've been able to be so vulnerable with.  He loves me in spite and because of my flaws.  We have a common goal, common pasts, and a desire to be positive, open to ideas, and live a healthy, upward lifestyle.

Not a bad spot to be at here at the end of 2013, looking 13 days forward to my one year anniversary of meeting Stacy face-to-face.  

And now the future looms.  I've moved into this almost 100 year old house that Stacy has owned for over 20 years and we are making it ours.  New configuration for Stacy to live in (yes walls in different places etc) so it's new and ours and isn't holding past memories (I'm trusting him when he says this).  

I'm in my element painting, configuring, fixing up.  We went and bought our first big purchase together the other day....a king sized bed.  Wednesday is delivery day and at this moment I've gotten a message from Stacy saying he's going to wash the sheets we've purchased for the bed so they are ready.  

Now that we've made it happily through this whirlwind of three months....or almost have, I'm starting to look to the future.  Not dwell and miss the now, but as in resolutions, which go through my head on a daily basis anyway.  To really ensconse myself in these things that are so calming and good for me....mindfulness, meditation, gratitude.  Living a life that is extremely healthy in all ways - emotionally, nutritionally and physically.  

We have joined Golds Gym to work our bodies, keeping them so that we can live the best quality of life as long as we can and enjoy each other.  Nutritionally , we need to go organic more and more for many reasons, mainly that the reality of Stacy's cancer ordeal is a constant reminder of what pesticides and non-organic can do.  So.....composting, gardening, growing as much of our own as we can...including egg laying chickens.  I also want to plant fruit trees.

Pursing classes in yoga, finding people that practice mindfulness and other zen traits.  Reading about it.  Living it with each other.  

The future looks sunny and delightful.  I have my partner by my side with similar goals and together we will pursue them, supporting each other along the way and I'm sure him dragging me along to keep up with him often.  Peace is in my soul.  

I love you my dear family and friends, people are all that matter, not things.  Accepting that takes you a long way.  Help me remember this and stay positive.


Monday, May 27, 2013

Love this from the ZenBuddhism website.....


"Zen is not a theory, an idea, or a piece of knowledge. It is not a belief, a dogma, or a religion..."
I'm learning about all these things: Buddhism, zen, mindfulness, reiki, chakras, feng shui, alternative  and holistic healing/medicine, juicing, self sufficiency, simplicity.  This is more my path....I was once a bible thumping Baptist and have to admit that yes, I'd like to believe there is a god.  Perhaps.  I just don't know.  But I do know that much of what I believed rather blindly and questioned.....led me down this path to seeking when no one could answer my questions sufficiently.  
The website goes on to say "but rather, it is a practical experience."  THAT I can get my head around and work on.  Life is an experience and I want to live it simply and without stress.  I want to enjoy this second half of my life and make it as beautiful as possible, letting go of the poisons and things that have colored the past.  Letting go of past ways.  Being open to change and beauty.  No regrets.  Seize the day.  Carpe Diem.  And supercalifragilistic.  


Sunday, May 26, 2013

Zen Buddhism....what is it?


Many thanks to my brother, Steve, for "liking" this link in FB.  It showed up, I followed, and LOVE this.

ZEN BUDDHISM | What is Zen Buddhism? 

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Simple Living

It means getting rid of many of the things you do so you can spend time with people you love and do the things you love. It means getting rid of the clutter so you are left with only that which gives you value.

Here I am again.....please go read zenhabits.net and explore the site.  This post is screaming at me right now....

Simple Living Manifesto: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your Life    By Leo Babauta

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

ooohhhmmmm......

This is a repost of a November 2010 post that means a lot to me at this time.  Went back to read the article I refer to in it and the link didn't work so wanted to fix it.....couldn't edit it that far back so what a great reason for a repost!

I need to take up meditation or something and gain some zen moments in my life.  Peace, simplicity, basics.  I get so overwhelmed running around, trying to be everything to everybody and still falling way short and being on the receiving end of undeserved blame, anger, ugliness.  The nasty words constantly take a toll and I just can't take it.  THUS....I hide in my room.  Read, play online games, talk to friends on voice chat.  BLOG.

Stephen Hopson says "do what makes YOU happy FIRST and then if people want to adjust, accept or reject you, that’s their business.   Our job is to take care of ourselves.   Yes, you have to balance it out and compromise along the way, of course.  But if you consistently go out of your way to make others happy,  allowing your wants and desires to fall by the wayside, guess what will happen?

You’ll experience a range of emotions from depression, sadness, anger, resentment or bitterness.  And the funny thing is you’re the one that put yourself in that position!   It has nothing to do with the other person.  All the other person did was to say what he/she wants and you went along with it."

OMG do I relate.  Click on the link in his name and read more.  I need to dig my heels in and live by this.  I've let the opinion and hurt of others sway me in this many times and no more.  I can not be what I need to be if I don't take care of me.  I'll have nothing to give.  Help me stick to this.

Things that make me happy...

Simplicity.  Nature, plants, gardening.  Being in the moment.  Someone special to share with who understands these things about me.  Ultimately yes that someone special I would love to be a man.  BUT....also need friends, family, my babies.  Hope people will join me in this journey and be open and authentic.  Non-judgemental.  Make new friendships and plain old enjoy life in it's simplicity and abundance.  Realizing that everything in your life is affected by your choice and YES YOU HAVE A CHOICE.  I am choosing the road to happiness and creating memories, join me?  I want to expand this blog, create a resource list, inspiration, whatever it may be.


Yes it's going to hurt.  We keep pieces of ourselves locked away but I'm going for authentic, excellent conversations here.  Not what people expect, no parroting, just heartfelt, caring convos.  This will help me identify the "real" people that I want to be a part of my life.  With this transparency and honesty, age is no issue.  Join me. Learn to care and love with me.  Learn to choose what is best for you.

Disclaimer....I'm no expert on anything.  I stumble lots, my balance is off kilter.  Say a word,I'll sing you a song containing that word.  On key?  Not a clue.  Just with pure joy.  If you are not afraid to be you, come help.  Not afraid to ask for that.  Life is our adventure and is what we make it. 




Monday, November 1, 2010

ooohhhmmmm......

I need to take up meditation or something and gain some zen moments in my life.  Peace, simplicity, basics.  I get so overwhelmed running around, trying to be everything to everybody and still falling way short and being on the receiving end of undeserved blame, anger, ugliness.  The nasty words constantly take a toll and I just can't take it.  THUS....I hide in my room.  Read, play online games, talk to friends on voice chat.  BLOG.

Stephen Hopson says "do what makes YOU happy FIRST and then if people want to adjust, accept or reject you, that’s their business.   Our job is to take care of ourselves.   Yes, you have to balance it out and compromise along the way, of course.  But if you consistently go out of your way to make others happy,  allowing your wants and desires to fall by the wayside, guess what will happen?

You’ll experience a range of emotions from depression, sadness, anger, resentment or bitterness.  And the funny thing is you’re the one that put yourself in that position!   It has nothing to do with the other person.  All the other person did was to say what he/she wants and you went along with it."

OMG do I relate.  Click on the link in his name and read more.  I need to dig my heels in and live by this.  I've let the opinion and hurt of others sway me in this many times and no more.  I can not be what I need to be if I don't take care of me.  I'll have nothing to give.  Help me stick to this.