Kindred Souls.....where are you????

I've had an ache to have some deep, heart to heart talks, real talks, where the people involved listen and respond and react.  Emotions are involved.  I don't want the glossy fluff, no drama, just real, good, heartfelt conversation.  It can be so hard to find as people are tied up in drama or afraid to really talk and want to be sure and say what you want to hear.....rather what THEY think you want to hear.  What I want to hear is honesty and your heart.

Today I had a wonderful talk with an incredibly beautiful woman, someone I've known for years and always admired.  She's always made me feel very comfortable talking to her and we often seem to be on similar paths our journeys in our lives.  Today we chatted about spirituality and being in the NOW.  Exploring options out there....what is the truth?  What is OUR truth?  We both seem to be of the mind that we need to live in the NOW, not past not future....those are nothing but thoughts.  NOW is all there is.  We talked about wicca, new age things, books, meditation.....being open to ideas, thoughts.

Here's my flat out belief, hurt some of you though it may.  Brief background is I never went to church as a child, not really.  Very here and there, but I didn't know any bible stories or songs.  Started going to church when I had kids thinking we needed to do that.  I became a believer and followed.  It was nice to know "this is what WE think and believe."  Fast forward and lots happened, specific things made me challenge my faith and yes I know it is man and organized religion that failed me.  BUT....that was the impetus to the challenge and searching.  I can now safely say that I'm agnostic.  Urban dictionary says an agnostic is: Someone who doesn't feel that there is enough evidence to prove or disprove god.  

I'm spiritual, not religious.  Read through my resources and my books pages and you will find where my thinking is.  I have found a man that believes along these lines as well and, like me, is searching and discovering.  Today, in talking to Kim, she is doing the same, I discover.  Kindred souls, they are out there.  Sometimes it isn't so popular to admit our beliefs and we shared those thoughts today.  How christian friends will listen (kind of) and think...."oh I'm still praying for you, God hasn't given up on you, you know the truth" and yet....that is YOUR truth, perhaps.  Not mine.  Probably one thing that hurts/stings is the constant need for a christian to impress that they know the truth and as a wandering soul, I am the one that is lost.  Perhaps not.  How bout the possibility that you believe in something that doesn't exist and in living in the NOW I am closer to the truth?  Is it really the be all and end all of existence for christians to be right all the time?  I guess that's where the rub comes in.  Listen to me, humor me, and all done condescendingly.  NO.  Not acceptable.  Accept me for who I am, period, not as a lost soul or sinner.  

YEARS ago (I don't even want to think how many), I read an article or book that spoke of friendships and relationships and sometimes, they have just run their course and it's time to let them go and move on. OUCH!  But yes....when that relationship is no longer beneficial and simply hurts or causes anguish?  Time to move on.  I guess it's sort of an agree to disagree thing.  Sad, since there are so few genuine, deep relationships.  But necessary I truly believe.  

Love me, be my friend, accept me for who I am.  Don't be afraid to talk and be honest.  Bare your heart and soul.  Forgive and cut some slack when I am an idiot.  

I will do the same for you.  And love you more than you thought a friend could love you as well.  People are all that matter, after all......

When it's time to change.....

When I think of change, that Brady Bunch episode where Peter's voice is chainging and the family sings "When it's Time for Change" always pops in my head and yes, I'll be singing it for the rest of the day.  Now that I've mentioned the song, those of you that are of the same generation will hopefully also be singing along.

Change is hard.  The idea and determination can come upon us, as it has me.  I have to stay motivated and in trying to do so, I've run across an article written by Stephenie Zamora for GalTime.com.   One thing she talks about that is so needed in making change is to:

1) Create a tribe of supportive, like-minded people.
This is soooooo, so important to making positive changes in your life! I can't stress it enough. When I was experiencing my quarter-life crisis, I felt so lost and confused as to who I was and what I wanted… despite seeming to have everything. It was incredibly isolating because I felt like no one else would understand.

The truth is I wasn't alone, and neither are you. Just because those like-minded people don't presently exist in your life, doesn't mean they're not out there experiencing the SAME EXACT thing as you… wishing they had someone to relate to as well. No matter what you're going through or what you want to create for yourself, I promise you, there are hundreds of thousands of people out there who want the same thing for themselves.

You are a unique and beautiful person, yes, but your situation is surprisingly common, regardless of what it is. This is known for sure.

Whether you're introverted or extroverted, you need people in your life who you can really open up to. People who will understand, love and support you.

You also need accountability! When you're trying to move toward a goal or big life shift, you need support, no matter how smart, capable or driven you are. Accountability puts you on the fast track to making amazing things happen.

Here are three ways to create that support tribe:

    Find a meetup.com group around a goal you're working toward. This could be a runner's group, business mastermind or writer's group.

    Join a program, workshop or class. Not only will you be connected to like-minded people working toward the same goal, you'll learn something as well, AND have the added accountability of the coach or teacher.

    Find an online or virtual community. If you can't find any classes or local meetups, there is nothing wrong with a virtual tribe. Some of the most supportive and loving individuals in my life are people I have yet to meet face-to-face. Log on and find a Facebook group, website forum or online program or community.

I buy into that, how bout you?  I guess that was in my gut, that I'm not alone in making changes, that I want more and better, but I can't do it alone.  I'm going to need motivation, inspiration and some good conversation.  I want to create deep, authentic friendships.  And, so, my friends.....post?  Or how is best to create this group of people to talk and who regularly want to talk?  Would love feedback.  I think I've got all fixed so that comments are enabled.....getting used to letting this blog go public.  

Looking for your feedback and more convo....love you all!

A true friend....

Yes, Michele, this is about you.  I'm still sitting here sniffling, good sniffles....about you and what you have done so selflessly.  Having read that it's my daddy's birthday, and living near where he is buried, Michele just picks herself up, goes on over, finds his grave and sets to work.  She cleans, oils, shines it all up, placing beautiful flowers....snaps some pictures and sends them off to me.  Just because.  That is who she is.

I met Michele in 1992 when I went to work at the Red Lion Hotel in San Jose.  She was my assistant and her husband was a colleague of mine.  Michele soon became more than someone I worked with and our relationship soared to friends....the kind of friends that you declare shall take care of your children if something should happen to you someday.  Time would fly by, distance come between, but no matter how rarely we'd speak, it was always as if it was just yesterday.

Michele has that rare quality of always putting others first, true true selflessness.  Something I've admired in her since day one.  Only recently have I realized that I failed to tell her how much she truly meant to me and how much I have admired her all these years.  Someone to emulate.  Each day in the world is much better simply because of her.  I love you dearly Michele and your random act of kindness and love is appreciated by my entire family.  I love that you said "I had a nice visit with him" in talking about it.  The tears just keep coming and I'll welcome them.  Thank you for being in my life.

The most important things in life.....are people.

The longer I live, the more I embrace the thought that people are all that matter.  It's so easy to get caught up in the material world, however is that what truly makes you happy?  From personal experience, I've witnessed people who gain those possessions they want, only to take a breath and say "now I want an XYZ." They are never satisfied, always needing to move on to the next possession, certain that IT will bring them happiness.  What void is it they are trying to fill?

I have no clue, but I do know that I'm not going to lay on my deathbed and whisper that I wish I'd spent more time at work, or that I had owned a Hummer or the like.  Its the people that make my life, that bring happiness and laughter, that I want more time with.  My family, friends, online friends.

What I find intriguing is this entire cyberworld that has opened up.  16 years ago when I first touched a computer, I was so fearful.  Today, I am fearful when my computer is not working!  To be able to make one post on Facebook and know my four siblings are all updated is comforting.  To read their activities so easily has made a difference.  Phone wasn't cutting it, computers do.

The online friends I've made (and yes I'm very very cautious, thinking everyone I meet online is an online predator) have become precious to me.  Believe it or not, I have actually been to one girlfriends house that I met online.  You see, we met in the virtual world of SecondLife, became friends, slowly shared real life details, find we live near each other and have talked in voice and on the phone.  So.....off I go and meet her and her family.  Yes, Skylar/Wendy - YOU!  My sweet Texas friend that I'd never have in my life if I wasn't open to the new methods of finding relationships that are available today.

Studies/reports vary widely, but it is generally agreed that the number of relationships (friendships and romantic) starting online has increased greatly in recent years.  One article I read stated that as many as 1 out of 3 relationships (this is relationships....friends, acquaintances, romantic) start online.  The dating world says that approximately 30 percent of the population has tried or knows someone who has tried internet dating sites.  What a change, and if we haven't changed, I guess it's time to wrap our minds around that idea.  It's here and happening.

Yes, I have many friends I've met online, male and female, yes we talk in voice wearing our headsets and yes, I suppose we are nerds if that's what you want to call us.  Will I end up in a real life romantic relationship that is a result of one of those online friendships?  Perhaps.  I'm definitely not opposed to it. I love technology and the doors it has opened to us, doors I never thought existed.  Bring it on!

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