...emergency brake

Start, stop. Repeat. Again. That's how I'm feeling about my blog, but I'm at it again. I need a place to brain dump. I was using Facebook for that but I just deactivated my account. I'm tired of people using social media and texting to avoid contact. That voice connection can make all the difference. 

Thankfully, this Saturday morning I had breakfast with a friend. We chose to meet at La Madeleine and have breakfast at 9am and then went our ways. She said she wants to do it again in a couple weeks. I'd love that, but we've been trying for a once a month and we are lucky to do once a quarter. Friendships need more priority in our lives. Relationships period. With people, not apps or phones.

If it hadn't been for Saturday breakfast, I wouldn't have spoken with anyone this weekend - and I had a three day weekend, Friday through Sunday. Used my voice for a whopping 1.5 hours, poor Linda!

I've put the brakes on SM. Yes I still have IG but I've only ever posted there because at one point I did connect my FB and IG. But really don't look at it even. The app connection had made me feel even more lonely - I want phones and people back in my life, been my obsession all weekend. Anyway, this will be my dumping ground. I want to save some pics, thoughts, memories. I loved that part of FB, the walk down memory lane. Creating here. 

Just for cuteness sake, love this pic.

...reverting...

I used to freely admit I didn't like the phone and preferred texting. You know that saying....be careful what you wish for, right? Well, I'm taking back those words. Yes, the phone can put me outside my comfort zone for some reason. BUT....as I'm aging, I am resenting the disconnectedness of text and social media conversations. 

Don't get me wrong, I think technology can be absolutely phenomenal, but I'm hitting the "back in the good ole days" period of my life. I want simple, direct, meaningful. I miss the conversations that are complete and not ignored or only a portion addressed. The time lapse between sides of the discussion/convo can be enormous. I want connection, discussion, resolution. I want the warmth of someone's voice and the feelings it evokes in me. I want hard conversations. I want to make myself and potentially the person I'm talking to uncomfortable with what I say because of the emotion, caring, and love that is in my words. That is something people are starting to forget, I fear.

It really hit home yesterday, which was my 64th birthday. I did not speak to one person. Every birthday wish was words on a screen - Facebook, Messenger, Text. It broke my heart that not one person could bother to pick up the phone and make that extra effort - and that I have done just this in the past, not realizing the personal connection I was rejecting. 

I know an incoming phone call can be at an inconvenient time, or not something you want to deal with, but too bad. I'm going to be THAT person who calls you at THE most inopportune time and, if nothing else, tells you that I wanted a vocal connection to tell you the reason I'm calling. That connecting with you on a vocal level is more important to me than words on a screen. I love you.