Nature trail

Round one in the nature trail and yes, there will definitely be a round two....

Out our sweet little side gate and immediately onto the one mile jaunt. Pictures are in order of how we came upon things. 

Looking back at our cottage as we head out. 

Our own path....

On the road...,

Bottle trees!  On closer inspection there are notes in many of the bottles. 

I loved this arrowhead shaped stone with the marble behind it. 

Coming up on the bowling ball graveyard...

Yup, that's what it is, alright!

A bench is located across from the St. Francis and all the goodies in the tree. 

More scenes along the trail. 

Out trail guide is in the upper left corner. To right, Stacy is gathering firewood, Stacy and coffee (he travels well), and me with the motto of the B&B in giant scrabble form. 

Breakfast, yum!!

Sitting on front porch sipping hot coffee and waiting for breakfast delivery....9 am and we hear a joyous and hearty "good morning!" belted out as Don Morelock rounds the corner with a tray, laden with a beautiful breakfast. 

Herbed poached egg. Some incredible toast, hearty and with nuts and dried fruits. Bacon. Fruit. Nuts. White grape juice. 

We chose the right place. Pampered is the word of the day. 

It's a beautiful morning...

Gate leading out to nature trail. Hand hewn pitchfork. I want one. Sun shining, white puffy clouds in the beautiful blue Texas sky, rooster crowing. Hot, delicious coffee in a handmade mug, I head outside with a thick blanket to enjoy the crisp morning here at Star of Texas. Settling myself into the chair on the porch doesn't last long because I feel a need to capture what beauty I can. Too bad pictures don't capture the wonderful smell of a fire.....but it's there. 

Right in front of where I'm sitting. There is a little star stuck into the tree and a metal plaque of sorts at the base. Love the vignettes they've created around here. 

Hand hewn pitchfork....I want one this is where I've set up camp, the chair with the blanket. 

Gate leading to nature trail. After breakfast we are heading out on a hike. Stacy said "brrrr" when I suggested it but it will be invigorating and beautiful. 

Beautiful vignette at the corner of our cottage showing the name. Love this place, perfect choice for a getaway. 

Stacy greeting the morning. 

Coffee on a crisp morning. 

And the changes keep rolling right along....

Finally....I'm the "acting director" of the Leon Valley Public Library. Come January when we are all back at work at the same time, the formal offer will be presented. But until then, I've been asked to move into the office. 

I've spent a couple days working my way in and am making progress. But take a gander at the lovely 70s wallpaper. I'm going to offer to strip it and paint. Long story but a year or so ago this office was to be redone but they physically couldn't get into it and now I get the joy of a very unmotivating space to work in. But that will be temporary as I work my magic!  Eyes peeled for an update to the look of my space!  Until then, more changes on the horizon?

Mother's Day. Bah humbug.

Really not much to write except that I want to record how much I don't like Mother's Day. My mom died 28 years ago a couple weeks before Mother's Day. Hardest ever. My kids are young adults or attempting to be and I got a text last night from one saying HMD. Other simply grumped excuse me and a big huff at me today. Partner is off with his son, grand daughter, brother and mother. I ate an egg alone. Family. Ha. 

...uplifting...

I sometimes get in a funk and really for no reason.  I find myself just kind of without feeling, kind of down, but I can't attribute it to anything.  I feel sad and not sure why or what to do about it although I'm aware of it.  It lingers, kind of encapsulating me for a short period of time (few days).  I need to figure it out, challenge it and shake it off when it descends.  How to do this has been on my mind for a while.

Do I push my body til it screams?  Sometimes I think physical exertion is the basic need.  I wish I could run or walk like a demon but my feet won't let me for long.  But do I walk and push through it hard?  Then come back and lift whatever weights I can til I'm aching?  Wish I was a natural athlete and had tendencies to do this, but I can try.

I've been trying to read positive, mindful things.  Am I simply not bombarding myself with this stuff enough?  Or is that just too "light"?

I've not found any pattern to this, but now that I'm in one, I'm hyper-aware.  I find it hard to smile and laugh.  God I hate this.  Sometimes I think I just need life to stop and let me off the ride, give me a time out where I don't have the crunch to make money.  I want some time at home to do "stuff" like build chicken coops and dig in the dirt, plant fruit trees, organize the house, pound nails and paint walls.  I'm a bit tired of being responsible.  I want to enjoy more.

Maybe it's just time to take a sick day for mental healths sake.  I'm sure Stacy is aware and is just being too sweet not saying anything, but I'm aware that he's aware and tip-toeing.  These are the times I just want my Mommy.  .....tired of being a grown up.....

Later.....Found this article  about 10 Reasons to Stop Working So Hard and thought it applied here a bit....more to think about.  One thing I want to do is plan something we really want to do, a trip.  And just GO FOR IT.  Perhaps more of a goal will help.  All I know is nothing can hurt and I need to consciously try things. 

...awkward...

So, today I found out that I'm the only librarian at Palo Alto College that didn't have to do a teaching presentation for a group as part of the interview process.  Somehow, I slipped through the cracks, otherwise I wouldn't have this job.  

How this came to light....I've been assigned to teach a class on web research, 10 days before the first class.  I am not proficient in the subject by any means.  I don't teach and have never taught anything like this.  I know absolutely nothing about power point nor have I ever opened it.  When I mentioned all this to one of the other librarians she just stared and said "what about your presentation before the group at your interview?"  I asked her what she was talking about.  That is how we discovered that I never really was interviewed.  Someone stepped in to fill a void and never even asked me a question and somehow I got through.  Part of my job is apparently teaching.  I told my co-worker that I hated school, never would have gone back for my masters except it would be paid for if I won a grant (and I did).  Total fluke and what I enjoy is public libraries, I'm no scholar.  I've felt a bit out of my element being there, kind of like I'm an imposter and now I know why.  

I have interviewed for a job at a public library and am in the second round of waiting.  I would love to get the job and get free from the college.  Just not the right fit for me and now everyone is aware of it too.  Just an odd vibe and now it makes sense.

....change of heart.....

Currently, I'm working two jobs, both are "temporary part time."  Exactly what you don't want to land when you are looking for a full time job with benefits.  However, I'm working and have moola coming in.  More fortunate than many.

One of the positions I'm in is a professional reference librarian at Palo Alto College in San Antonio.  As we start the new semester, the library has a series of classes to help the students learn and develop their research skills.  I was assigned to teach the class focusing on Web Research, how to conduct, find reliable sources and how to evaluate if the sources are indeed, reliable.

My first response was to remain very calm while inside I was thinking....the first class is 10 days away and I'm not an expert in this subject, I've never taught (other than "mouse 101 for seniors" as I call my intro to computers for senior citizens, a very very informal class).  I'm in line for a full time position at my other part time temp job so I automatically thought....I need that job so I can QUIT here!  I don't want to do this!

So.....here I am, Monday.  First day back at the job since I got the assignment due to bad weather days.  Really, really not a big deal after all.  In the past two hours I've helped a number of students and I've got my course outline done, am putting final touches on the pre- and post- tests and will finalize the evaluation form.  I'm actually looking forward to teaching it.  That kind of scares me in that there is something in there that totally enjoyed this mega-nerdy crap.  Guess I've been too intent for too many years avoiding being a nerd. And yet when I'm almost 50 I get my Master's Degree in Library Science and officially become a librarian? Nerdiest.  But cool still, right?  Please?  Give me that.....

....whine....

Feeling lonely. Very. Stacy's in Dallas visiting a friend. Due to weather I've had extra time off. When my kids talk to me it's to dump or cause of a missed curfew. Feeling useless and tired. Missing Liberty Hill and knowing everyone. Very out of sorts and uncertain as to my role in life right now. No FT job and feeling like every relationship I have is either fragile or unable to move forward.  Tired of the limbo. 

Bucket list of sorts....

Stacy has lived in San Antonio since 1979 if I remember right.  You know how it is when you live somewhere, you don't do the things the tourists do.  He hasn't EVER been to the Alamo and he's a native Texan.  Being the tourist type brain I am, I want to see and do all the things around here and explore.  So....we have an agreement.  Every weekend we are going to do "something".  Whether it's hunt out a new coffee shop, walk to the stores down the way, go to one of the many nearby museums or sites....  San Antonio, seventh largest city in the USA, there is plenty to do.  Most of those posts are going to be in my Vagabond blog, tab above.  That is the "Texas and beyond" blog.  But this week....

Last Friday night we went to Earl Abels, a local spot with food much better than I expected.  I guess it's a San Antonio institution and been around for ages.  Now this isn't the first time we've been here, but this time we actually accomplished one of the things we wanted....Stacy got his picture taken with the maitre d'.   Next time it's my turn.

He's a statue of sorts, by the way.  The maitre d', not Stacy.  

What I see....

I took a pic of Stacy I loved and apparently he wasn't crazy about, not sure why, but it's what I see when I look at him, and I like it. Decided to mess around with it and grunge it a bit. I'll see what he says when he views it again. But regardless....this is my Stacy.