...awkward...

So, today I found out that I'm the only librarian at Palo Alto College that didn't have to do a teaching presentation for a group as part of the interview process.  Somehow, I slipped through the cracks, otherwise I wouldn't have this job.  

How this came to light....I've been assigned to teach a class on web research, 10 days before the first class.  I am not proficient in the subject by any means.  I don't teach and have never taught anything like this.  I know absolutely nothing about power point nor have I ever opened it.  When I mentioned all this to one of the other librarians she just stared and said "what about your presentation before the group at your interview?"  I asked her what she was talking about.  That is how we discovered that I never really was interviewed.  Someone stepped in to fill a void and never even asked me a question and somehow I got through.  Part of my job is apparently teaching.  I told my co-worker that I hated school, never would have gone back for my masters except it would be paid for if I won a grant (and I did).  Total fluke and what I enjoy is public libraries, I'm no scholar.  I've felt a bit out of my element being there, kind of like I'm an imposter and now I know why.  

I have interviewed for a job at a public library and am in the second round of waiting.  I would love to get the job and get free from the college.  Just not the right fit for me and now everyone is aware of it too.  Just an odd vibe and now it makes sense.

....change of heart.....

Currently, I'm working two jobs, both are "temporary part time."  Exactly what you don't want to land when you are looking for a full time job with benefits.  However, I'm working and have moola coming in.  More fortunate than many.

One of the positions I'm in is a professional reference librarian at Palo Alto College in San Antonio.  As we start the new semester, the library has a series of classes to help the students learn and develop their research skills.  I was assigned to teach the class focusing on Web Research, how to conduct, find reliable sources and how to evaluate if the sources are indeed, reliable.

My first response was to remain very calm while inside I was thinking....the first class is 10 days away and I'm not an expert in this subject, I've never taught (other than "mouse 101 for seniors" as I call my intro to computers for senior citizens, a very very informal class).  I'm in line for a full time position at my other part time temp job so I automatically thought....I need that job so I can QUIT here!  I don't want to do this!

So.....here I am, Monday.  First day back at the job since I got the assignment due to bad weather days.  Really, really not a big deal after all.  In the past two hours I've helped a number of students and I've got my course outline done, am putting final touches on the pre- and post- tests and will finalize the evaluation form.  I'm actually looking forward to teaching it.  That kind of scares me in that there is something in there that totally enjoyed this mega-nerdy crap.  Guess I've been too intent for too many years avoiding being a nerd. And yet when I'm almost 50 I get my Master's Degree in Library Science and officially become a librarian? Nerdiest.  But cool still, right?  Please?  Give me that.....

....whine....

Feeling lonely. Very. Stacy's in Dallas visiting a friend. Due to weather I've had extra time off. When my kids talk to me it's to dump or cause of a missed curfew. Feeling useless and tired. Missing Liberty Hill and knowing everyone. Very out of sorts and uncertain as to my role in life right now. No FT job and feeling like every relationship I have is either fragile or unable to move forward.  Tired of the limbo. 

Bucket list of sorts....

Stacy has lived in San Antonio since 1979 if I remember right.  You know how it is when you live somewhere, you don't do the things the tourists do.  He hasn't EVER been to the Alamo and he's a native Texan.  Being the tourist type brain I am, I want to see and do all the things around here and explore.  So....we have an agreement.  Every weekend we are going to do "something".  Whether it's hunt out a new coffee shop, walk to the stores down the way, go to one of the many nearby museums or sites....  San Antonio, seventh largest city in the USA, there is plenty to do.  Most of those posts are going to be in my Vagabond blog, tab above.  That is the "Texas and beyond" blog.  But this week....

Last Friday night we went to Earl Abels, a local spot with food much better than I expected.  I guess it's a San Antonio institution and been around for ages.  Now this isn't the first time we've been here, but this time we actually accomplished one of the things we wanted....Stacy got his picture taken with the maitre d'.   Next time it's my turn.

He's a statue of sorts, by the way.  The maitre d', not Stacy.  

What I see....

I took a pic of Stacy I loved and apparently he wasn't crazy about, not sure why, but it's what I see when I look at him, and I like it. Decided to mess around with it and grunge it a bit. I'll see what he says when he views it again. But regardless....this is my Stacy.