Onward to the end.....

I'm 50 today.  This is the first and only birthday that has bothered me and it's bothering me a LOT.  Over half my life is gone.  Women in my family aren't long lived.  Mom lived to 62 and her mom was in her 50's.  I'm afraid that the longer dreams and things get put off, the more likely they are not to ever happen.  I may not have a lot of time left, I want some good in my life but seriously wonder if it will happen.

Alone at 50 with no one to share life's joys and burdens sucks the big times.   Yea, I'm in a crappy mood for this birthday.  Top it all off?  I don't think my kids will remember and they are all I have left.  Oh well.  Just another day....who cares.